by Curt Kovener
Every newspaper has found egg on its editorial face after a headline was quickly composed to fit in narrow columns and to meet a rapidly approaching deadline. It seemed correct initially, but after the newspapers came off the press and were being delivered, sometimes editors would dope-slap themselves for the second meaning the headline might have. Take and ponder the following actual headlines.
•Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
•Veterinarian Testifies In Horse Suit
•Complaints About Referees Growing Ugly
•Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Court
•Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funerals
•Convict Evades Execution; Jury Hung
•Man Held Over California Brush Fire
•Safety Experts Say Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
•County Officials Talk Trash
•New Housing For Elderly Not Dead
•Farmer Bill Dies In House
•Israeli Head Seeks Arms
•Man Claims He Left 4 Large Rings In Hotel Bathtub
•Meat Head Fights Minimum Pay Hike.
•Queen Mary To Have Bottom Scraped
•DNR Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters
•New Autos Hit 5 Million
•Antique Stripper To Display Wares To Downtown Store
•Judge Considers Imposing Mandatory Time For Prostitution
•Nuns Drop Suit; Bishops Agree To Aid Them
•Child’s Stool Great For Use In Garden
•Idaho Group Organizes To Help Service Widows
•Councilwoman’s Seat Up For Grabs
•Lung Caner In Women Mushrooms
•Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
•Republicans Win On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
•Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
•Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish.
•Plane Too Close To Ground Crash Probe Told
•Fund Set Up For Beating Victim’s Kin
•Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Line
•Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Bound & Hanged
•South Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law
•Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
I did not write these; I am just reporting these…hopefully for your amusement.