by Curt Kovener
Mother nature has not been kind to her wilderness this year. With spring rains and strong winds, a number of trees have been tumbled to earth. Some are converted into logs for potential sale; the tops and inferior quality trees get processed into firewood.
I was busy with woodsplitting over the hottest weekend in July and because of the heat and humidity (or is it stupidity?) was reminded of the old adage “He who cuts his own wood is twice warmed.”
Actually from cutting & splitting & stacking then eventually burning in the winter, I think that should be revised to “He who cuts his own wood is 4-times warmed.”
So maybe some other familiar sayings could be re-worked as well.
•Birds of a feather flock together…and then defecate on your vehicle.
•A penny saved is a government oversight.
•The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
•The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
•He who hesitates is probably right.
•If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
•The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
•Did you ever notice: When you put two words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs’.
•Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
•Some people try to ‘turn back their odometers’. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
•When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
•You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
•One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.