by Curt Kovener 
(This week’s column is a historical selection from the Curt Comments archive.)
•Ever notice that a human baby doesn’t walk until it’s tall enough to reach a parent’s hand?
•Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing.
•”There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it.”- Chinese Proverb.
•Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.
•I asked Mom if I was a gifted child …she said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
•Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
•Children will soon forget your presents, but they will always remember your presence.
•Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
•The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
•Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
•Even if you childproof your home… like ladybugs somehow they still get in!
•Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
•Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children.
•You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool a Mom.
•I love to give homemade gifts: which one of my kids do you want?
•A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.
•Anyone who says ‘Easy as taking candy from a baby’ has never tried it.
•Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
•The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
