by Curt Kovener
As I have gotten more gray hair I have come to understand some oddities and truths in life. Here is some gleaned from a variety of sources.
•Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
•Bacon tastes good. Pig manure stinks.
•I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
•There is great need for a sarcasm font in the newspaper.
•How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
•Mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure we all know how to get out of our neighborhood.
•Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
•I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.
•Bad decisions make for some great stories.
•You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
•Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection… again
•I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page news story that I swear I did not make any changes to.
•I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
•I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
•I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
•I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
•How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
•I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
•Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
•As soon as you find something at the grocery store that you really like, they will either move it or the company will discontinue it.
•The driving of all the other people on the road has become markedly worse in the past few years.
•The testicular guard, the “Cup,” was first used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for hockey players to realize that their brain is also important.
•Life just gets better as you get older.
