by Curt Kovener 
With brain fade and laughter being the primary purpose this week, kindly consider these fractured foibles.
•If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
•If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
•Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
•What’s another word for synonym?
•Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
•When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
•When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
•Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
•Why do they report power outages on TV?
•What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
•Is it possible to be totally partial?
•If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
•Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
•If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
•If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
•If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
•If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
•Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
•If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
•Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
•If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
•Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
