compiled by Curt Kovener
“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
~ Dr. Seuss
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
~George Carlin
“How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!”
~Benjamin Franklin
“Want to keep Christ in Christmas? Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, forgive the guilty, welcome the unwanted, care for the ill, love your enemies, and do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
~Steve Maraboli
“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime.”
~Laura Ingalls Wilder
“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”
~Bob Hope
“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ”
~Mary Ellen Chase
“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!”
~Dave Barry
“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?”
~Bill Watterson, cartoonist for Calvin and Hobbes
“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”
~Hamilton Wright Mabie
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
~Jay Leno
“If my Valentine you won’t be, I’ll hang myself on your Christmas tree.”
~Ernest Hemingway
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.”
~Andy Rooney
“What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?”
~Salman Rushdie
“Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ”
~Washington Irving
“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”
~G.K. Chesterton
“As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is.”
~Eric Sevareid
“Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’.”
~Bing Crosby
“I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it ”
~Craig Ferguson
“Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!”
~Francis Pharcellus Church
“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit”
~Kin Hubbard
“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.”
~Eva K. Logue
“It’s not about presents but it is about your presence. Therein lies the spirit of the holiday season.”
~Julieanne O’Connor
“A prison cell, in which one waits, hopes – and is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside, is not a bad picture of Advent”
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German Theologian
“Christmas makes me schmaltzy. I’m proud to be level-headed, even a little tough most of the time. But once a year I like to believe that peace on earth may be possible and calories don’t count.”
~Sue Merrell
“…freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin – inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night…”
~John Geddes
“Instead of protesting and cursing others because they write “X-Mas” instead of “Christmas”; try being Christmas. Live Christmas. Breathe Christmas. Act Christmas. Speak Christmas. Reflect Christmas. Listen and feel Christmas. Christ doesn’t care how you write Christmas; He cares how you live Christmas all year long.”
~Sandra Chami Kassis
“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.”
~Norman Vincent Peale
Don’t boil yourself in the Christmas jam
Of unwise spending and social cram.
Preserve your fruit with the spiritual things,
And the lasting joy the holiday brings.
~Anonymous
“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.”
~Oren Arnold
“There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.”
~Robert Lynd
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
~Bernard Manning
“You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.”
~Robert Paul
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.”
~Joan Rivers
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”
~Shirley Temple
