by Curt Kovener
•When old people say “Enjoy them while they are young” they are talking about their knees and hips not their kids.
•To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays, seal it up in an Amazon box and leave it on your front porch.
•This morning my kid said their ear hurt. I said on the inside or outside. So they walked out the front door and came back in and said “Both”. Moments like that got me wondering if I’m saving too much for college.
•Brain cells die, skin cells die, hair cells die. But Fat Cells must have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior because they seem to have eternal life.
• Another mystery in life is why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
•If you get a loan at a bank, you’ll be paying it back for 30 years. If you rob a bank, you’ll be out in 10 years. Just some free financial advice.
•A penny for your thoughts seems a little pricey for some folks.
•Do you remember before the internet that people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Guess it wasn’t that, huh?
•I let my blind friend borrow money from m the other day. He told me he was going to pay me back the next time he saw me. Wait a minute…
•When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electric bill, I am scared of the lights.
•I really think it’s time to take the warning labels off of everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.
“To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” ~Oscar Wilde
“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” ~Will Rogers
“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars –more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” ~C.S. Lewis
“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” ~Golda Meir
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.” ~Mark Twain
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” ~Tom Wilson
“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” ~Phyllis Diller
“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up” ~John Wagner