by Curt Kovener
Last week’s column on church bulletin bloopers prompted a number of you to email in some additional religulous humor.
While we don’t want to become a theological column, we will leave that for our friend Jerry Ousley in his weekly Spirit Bread inspirational, here are some occupationally appropriate hymns thus proving once again, the Almighty has a sense of humor.
Dentist’s Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns.
Weatherman’s Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings.
Contractor’s Hymn: The Church’s One Foundation.
The Tailor’s Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy.
The Golfer’s Hymn: There’s a Green Hill Far Away.
The Politician’s Hymn: Standing on the Promises!
Optometrist’s Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See.
The IRS Agent’s Hymn: I Surrender All.
The Gossip’s Hymn: Pass It On.
The Electrician’s Hymn: Send The Light.
The Shopper’s Hymn: Sweet Bye and Bye.
The Realtor’s Hymn: I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop.
The Massage Therapist’s Hymn: He Touched Me.
For those of us who sometimes exceed the speed limit on the highway; these hymns are appropriate.
55 mph: God Will Take Care of You.
75 mph: Nearer My God To Thee.
85 mph: This World Is Not My Home.
95 mph: Lord, I’m Coming Home.
100 mph: Precious Memories.