by Curt Kovener
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
– Mark Twain
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
– Winston Churchill
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
– Mark Russell
I’m not an ambulance chaser. I’m usually there before the ambulance.
– Melvin Belli an attorney
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.
– H. L. Mencken
Silence is argument carried on by other means.
– Ernesto “Che” Guevara
As scarce as the truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
– Josh Billings
It is impossible to feel the equal of someone who’s been awake longer than you.
– Mary Gordon
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
– Garrison Keillor
Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement.
– Samuel Johnson
If you pick up a dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
– Mark Twain
You can’t use tact with a Congressman. A congressman is like a hog. You must take a stick and hit him on the snout to gain his true attention.
– Henry Adams
When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done.
– Kin Hubbard
The most important difference between business and academia is this: In business everything is dog eat dog. In academia it is just the reverse.
– E. John Rosenwald, Jr.
As a member of an escorted tour, you don’t even have to know the Matterhorn isn’t a tuba.
– Temple Fielding
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
– Benjamin Disraeli
In American, an hour is about 40 minutes.
– German Saying
Owing money has never concerned me so long as I know where it could be repaid.
– Colonel Henry Crown
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters are written in prose.
– Beverley Nichols
Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn’t, they be married too.
– H. L. Mencken
There is not money in poetry, but then there is not poetry in money, either.
– Robert Graves
Poets, we know, are very sensitive people, and in my observation, one of the things they are most sensitive about is cash.
– Robert Penn Warren
