by Curt Kovener
A long-time journalism friend sent me a new word and its definition. Sarchotic: When you’re so sarcastic people aren’t sure if you’re joking or just psychotic.
So in that vein (and feel free to share when you deem appropriate)…
•I was hoping for a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.
•Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward rage screams.
•I don’t like to make plans for the day because words like “premeditated” get thrown around in the courtroom.
•I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
•I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude and that’s not my problem.
•Stop petting my peeves.
•I don’t really rise and shine. Most days I just caffeinate and hope for the best.
•My alone time is for everyone’s safety.
•I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
•I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
•I am at the age that I am old enough to pretend that I can’t hear.
•Be the reason someone smiles today; not the reason they drink.
•Have you ever met someone and wondered who ties their shoelaces for them?
•If I ever say “Do you want me to be honest?” For both of our sakes, say “No.”
•Trying to understand some people is like trying to smell the color 9.
•My tolerance for stupid is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up but clearly there is a new strain out there.
•Swearing…because sometimes “gosh darn meanie” just doesn’t cut it.
•THINK: the legislature hasn’t make it illegal…yet.
•My mother is right, I will never be old enough to know better.