Speak Precisely And Don’t Be Homo-phobic

Curt-lineby Curt Kovener

A homonym, as Mrs. Lewis’ CHS English students will no doubt recall, is a word that sounds like another or perhaps is spelled the same as another but has a different meaning.
And homonyms are one of the reasons English is so difficult to learn. That and when to use lie, lay laid, lain have always been difficult for me.
Their and there, for and fore, meet and meat, hear and here are homonyms however, Southern Hoosiers, far and fire are not homonyms. At least, they are not supposed to be pronounced alike.
But some of the more confusing aspects of the Southern Hoosier brand of English we use to communicate is when two words are spelled the same but pronounced differently.
Take these homonymic examples for instance:
•We must polish the Polish furniture.
•He could lead if he would get the lead out.
•The farm was used to produce produce.
•The landfill was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
•The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
•This was a good time to present the present
•A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
•When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
•I did not object to the object, for I was being objective.
•The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
•The bandage was wound around the wound.
•There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
•They were too close to the door to close it.
•The buck does funny things when the does are present.
•They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
•To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
•The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
•After a number of injections my jaw got number.
•Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
•How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
•I had to subject the subject to a series of tests on various subjects.
It was usually the subject of high school English where Mrs. Lewis’ students subjected themselves to her knowledge as well as subject to frustration trying to comprehend such a confusing subject.