by Curt Kovener 
We may have to get around to changing the name of this column, a review of the past few months reveals it has been more like Comedy Central or Laugh-In (for we Baby Boomers) or Hee-Haw (for we rustic Baby Boomers) rather than serious thought provoking commentary (which usually results in cancelled subscriptions for the not-so-open minded when I rub their beliefs the wrong way. Their names will not be mentioned to protect the guilty).
But in light of the stock market’s dealings last week and the news out of Washington, perhaps we need a weekly guffaw.
After scanning the Internet for something to take our minds off our problems (real, imagined and otherwise), here is an offering of life’s truths.
• Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
• To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. (Let’s pause for a moment and read that one again.)
• The older you get, the better you realize you were.
• I doubt, therefore I might be.
• Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
• Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
• A fool and his money are soon partying.
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• He just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• I intend to live forever; So far, so good.
• I don’t hunt innocent animals, just the ones who look guilty.
• Support bacteria! It’s the only culture some people have.
• Sometimes the only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
• When everything’s coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.
