Some Gentle Thoughts…Or Maybe Not

by Curt Kovener

Mother Nature has not been kind to her wilderness this spring with all of the rainfall and winds. It resulted in a number of trees toppling to earth. Logs have been cut from them for potential sale and the tops, as well as the wood from less desirable hardwoods, are being cut into firewood.
So on the hottest July weekend so far, I was splitting wood. It was while doing so that I was reminded of the axiom: He who cuts his own wood is twice warmed. I thought that while wringing sweat from my red bandana headband and t-shirt.
But with cutting, splitting, and stacking and then burning this winter, I believe I re-worked that saying into “4 times warmed.”
So maybe some other sayings should be re-worked also.
•Birds of a feather flock together…and then defecate on your car.
•A penny saved is a government oversight.
•The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
•The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
•He who hesitates is probably right.
•If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
•The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
•Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs’.
•Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
•Some people try to ‘turn back their odometers’. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
•When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
•You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
•One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.