So Call Me A Punographer

by Curt Kovener

I found a honey hole last week but I wasn’t fishing for bluegill or hunting mushrooms.
This prolific passle arrived in my e-mail courtesy of Little John (his named is changed to protect the guilty) and is some of the funniest puns I have read in a while.
For instance:
•I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
•When chemists die, they barium.
•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
•I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.
•How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
•A guy got arrested for pedophilia while playing the guitar because he was fingering A minor.
•I’m reading a book about anti-gravity and I can’t put it down.
•I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
•The medical report wrote I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
•A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
•PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.
•The students went on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory hoping there’d be no pop quiz.
•I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
•Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•Broken pencils are pointless.
•I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
•What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
•England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
•I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
•Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
•Velcro: what a rip off.
•Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
•I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
•Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Do not groan at me. Little John is responsible. Well maybe he’s not responsible but he is at fault. Well maybe not at fault but I’m blaming him.