Retail Therapy: Quarantine Edition

by Tressa Ballard
I’ll be perfectly honest here. I’ve spent a lot of money during the pandemic. And I mean. A. LOT.
There have been months’ worth of dog treats and pet food, at least a few small appliances, wall clocks, blood type kits, bedding, vitamins, birthday presents, cleaning supplies, remodeling materials, and even a few goofy novelties in my virtual shopping cart. Multiple items have been returned. Most items have been kept and/or shared.
And that is on the realness of retail therapy. Well, that and being forgetful about what is needed versus what has been plentifully hoarded.
Am I a hoarder? Hoo-boy, yes, I am. I was born of hoarders. The tendencies are strong.
However, based upon what I collect and how I distribute it, I’m more of a prepper. Though based upon some the items purchased during quarantine, I’m mostly ridiculous.
The toaster made sense. The Keurig was a splurge, but still useful. The floor tiles were needed. But, the mullet wig? Well that was just unnecessary perfection.
Which brings me to my most favorite purchase in the WHOLE WORLD EVER. What is the best thing I’ve bought during quarantine? That would be the fake handlebar mustache. It wins that competition hands-down.
It is by far the best thing I’ve bought in years, let alone during the pandemic. I have laughed myself to tears wearing it. Because that mustache is just plain funny and I was really ready to feel some joy in my heart.
Maybe some of you reading this out there need a few laughs too. So, here’s me in my new uniform…

Tressa K. Ballard REALLY doesn’t look like this.