Replay A Smile

by Curt Kovener curt-line.jpg

It is summer re-run season on the television. Isn’t it great that I can get over 200 channels and they ALL are showing stuff that they showed before.

So if TV can show re-runs and radio plays the same music over and over, why should print media be required to be original every week? Taking a cue from the electronic media, (and because I enjoyed too much outdoor time at the woodland retreat of late) here is a previously read column which should make you smile. And isn’t that the real reason you read this column?

•Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

•Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

•If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

•If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

•Why do “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

•Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

•Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

•Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

•Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

•Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light?”

•Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

•Why do “overlook” & “oversee” mean opposite things?

•If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

•If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

•Why is bra singular and panties plural?

•Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

•Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

•Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?