Nothing Matters…And What If It Did?

by Curt Kovener

Now that the election is over, it doesn’t matter whether your candidate won or lost. The prophet John coined the title of this column: remember it often.
And remember some of these when you’re feeling low…and especially when you’re feeling high & mighty.
•Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
•Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
•Always read stuff that will make you look impressive if you die in the middle of it.
•If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
•Always be nice to people on your way up because you durned sure will meet them again on your way down.
•If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
•It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
•Never buy a car you can’t push.
•Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
•Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
•The second mouse gets the cheese.
•When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
•Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
•Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
•We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
•A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
•Save the earth…it’s the only planet with chocolate!