Making A Joyful Noise

by Curt Kovener    

Last week’s column on church bulletin bloopers prompted a number of you to email in some additional religulous humor.

While we don’t want to become a theological column, we will leave that for our friend Jerry Ousley in his weekly Spirit Bread inspirational, here are some occupationally appropriate hymns thus proving once again, the Almighty has a sense of humor.

Dentist’s Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns.

Weatherman’s Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings.

Contractor’s Hymn: The Church’s One Foundation.

The Tailor’s Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy.

The Golfer’s Hymn: There’s a Green Hill Far Away.

The Politician’s Hymn: Standing on the Promises!

Optometrist’s Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See.

The IRS Agent’s Hymn: I Surrender All.

The Gossip’s Hymn: Pass It On.

The Electrician’s Hymn: Send The Light.

The Shopper’s Hymn: Sweet Bye and Bye.

The Realtor’s Hymn: I’ve Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop.

The Massage Therapist’s Hymn: He Touched Me.

For those of us who sometimes exceed the speed limit on the highway; these hymns are appropriate.

55 mph: God Will Take Care of You.

75 mph: Nearer My God To Thee.

85 mph: This World Is Not My Home.

95 mph: Lord, I’m Coming Home.

100 mph: Precious Memories.