Like Having A Church Pitch-In Sinner

by Curt Kovener

(Since we are dealing with some changes in our publishing life, this is an encore column from the Curt Comments archives.)
We make our share of boo-boos in the newspaper industry.
But unlike other businesses, government or education, when we err it is done in a public forum for everyone to see. No executive sessions, no cover-ups, no privileged information. We err for all to see. Our mistakes have no way of being covered up, sugar coated, or downplayed like in other sectors.
Mrs. Lewis, my high school English teacher, probably just looks down from above rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I tried my best to teach him better,” she might be saying.
But there are other forums where grammar, dangling modifiers, and misplaced participles (or is it misplaced modifier and dangling participle?) occasionally crop up. Church bulletins are another source for well-meaning, unintentional gaffs.
I want to be very clear: none of these ‘oopsies’ came from any of our local churches. I don’t need to be placed on a prayer list or ridiculed from the pulpit.
These church bulletin blunders are offered as evidence that God does, indeed, have a sense of humor.
•Don’t let worry kill you. Let the church help.
•While the Pastor is on vacation, massages can be given to the church secretary.
•The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of all kinds and they may be seen in the church basement every Friday,
•A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of the members in honor of his wife.
•Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance of the church.
•The choir invites any member who enjoys it to join the choir in sinning on Sunday.
•Irving Bettson and Jessie Smith were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
•The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S.
•At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.