I Think I Have Acquired A Disease Or Something

Curt-lineby Curt Kovener

The other day as I was working on this column at my computer, I began a sneezing fit. Reaching for a tissue, I pulled the last one from the box. Wanting to be prepared for the next time I needed a tissue, I went to the utility room to fetch a new box.

While there I remembered I hadn’t switched over the laundry but when I opened the dryer door there was clean laundry ready to be folded. So I folded the towels and other assorted people and house cleaning cloths and moved the washed clothes to the dryer.

Taking the folded dishcloths to be put away, I thought a cup of hot tea would be nice. But then I saw the cup I had brewed about two hours ago, now room temperature. I hit the switch on the electric teapot, dumped the lukewarm brew in the sink and opened the dishwasher drawer to be greeted by a tub full of clean dishes. So I emptied the dishwasher putting everything away where it was supposed to be when I noted I was low on coffee filters. Reaching to the refrigerator door for the note pad and pencil to add to my next shopping list, I fumbled the pencil and it rolled under the refrigerator. Fetching a yardstick to fetch the pencil, I noticed considerable dust under the refrigerator. Knowing dust, lint, hair can all make such appliances operate less efficient, I pulled out the large appliance and vacuumed up my debris. Then I got a clean dish cloth that I just put away, dampened it and wiped up the stubborn dirt.

I took the damp and now dirty dish rag to the clothes hamper which was full so I sorted clothes to fill the now empty washer.

As I returned to the computer, I noticed the bird feeder was empty so I got the sunflower seed from the spare room and filled the bird feeders so the wilderness feathered friends would remain friendly. In doing so I noticed the soil was dry in the raised bed herb garden so I got out the hose to give them a drink. There were a few weeds trying to grow so I plucked those then gave the herbs a hearty drink.

Rolling up the hose, I thought the front lawn was a bit long so…knowing how fast grass grows this time of year…fired up the push mower.

When finished I looked for the broom to sweep off the sidewalk but remembered I used it last out in the barn. When I went to fetch it, I saw two mice run along the work bench, so I went back to the house to get some bait for the mouse trap which I had forgotten to reset.

When I got back to the house, I saw the cup with a tea bag but I had failed to pour in any water that was now lukewarm like the first cup I brewed.

Then I remembered I was working on a column. When I returned to the computer, I sneezed and reached into an empty tissue box.

I think I might have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder because nothing seems to be getting done around here.