Don’t Blame Me, Life Made Me That Way

By Curt Kovener

For the recently completed long weekend I am returning to a “best of”-so to speak-of an archived Curt Comments. Perhaps some original thought, if there is such a thing, will return net week.
•A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
•I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
•A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
•The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
•Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
•If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
•We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
•Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
•To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
•I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
•You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
•Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
•I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
•You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
•Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
•Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
•A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
•Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
•I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
•When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
And possibly the best advice:
•Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.