by Curt Kovener 
The other day the garage door wouldn’t open when I pressed the button in my vehicle. So I pressed it again harder. I knew the battery was getting old but I again pressed it harder as if a firmer physical effort would overcome a lack of electrical energy.
And that got me to thinking about other “How’s come is it?”…which is a long way of asking “Why?”
•Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
•Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
•Why is the alphabet in that order?
•What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
•If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
•Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
•When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? Sounds like a near hit to me!
•Why is abbreviated such a long word?
•Why are there five syllables in the word “monosylabic”?
•Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
•When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
•Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?
•Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?
•Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
•Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
•Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
•Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
•I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
•Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
