Culinary Tips For New College Students

by Curt Kovener 

Last spring’s high school seniors are this semester’s freshman college class.

That is, unless the spring graduates found gainful employment. Either case, the following advice is applicable.

You will find that you have gone from being the top dog as high school seniors to low person on the totem pole as college freshmen. And for many of you, it is your first significant stay away from home. Summer camp and weekend at the grandparents do not count.

You, no doubt, look forward to freedom: no one telling you what time to be in, what to wear, how often you must shower, whether or not you have to wear underwear.

But there are some thing about your new found freedom you should at least contemplate and try to learn from the mistakes of those who have gone before you.

Nutrition is important throughout life and sometimes what’s in the refrigerator of your dorm room or college apartment can be mysterious.

Please remember these tips.

Meat: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals to congregate outside your dorm, it’s time to throw it out lest you throw up.

Eggs: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, it’s time to throw it out.

Canned goods: When a canned good becomes the size or shape of a basketball, it’s time to throw it out… very carefully.

Potatoes: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches or leafy growth.

Ice Cream: If you can’t tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it’s time to throw both of them out.

Dairy Products: Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway so it you can dig down and find something not green, bon appetite.

Finally, when all else fails, the Gag Test: If something you thought you were going to eat makes you gag, its probably a good idea to throw it out.

While pizza may contain all four of the food groups, pizza three meals a day is not a balance diet.

Study hard, do well, make us proud…just don’t poison yourself in the process.