Creative Puns for Educated Minds

Curt-lineby Curt Kovener

Puns, it can be said, are a sign of a superior intellect. They are a sign of an expanded vocabulary, play on words and word meanings. Some puns dribble off the tongue with ease; some require some thought.
But I enjoy the eye-rolling, corny groaner of a pun like these:
• The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table Was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
• She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra Class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders.
• No matter how much you push or pull the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
• A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
• Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The Police are looking into it.
• Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
• A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a Hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse Said, ‘No change yet.’
• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a “small medium at large.”
• The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
• A backward poet writes inverse.
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of Religion.
• Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!