Age Is Preferred To The Alternative

Curt-lineby Curt Kovener

(This is an encore column from the Curt Comment archives.)

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery with his son, a renowned surgeon, performing the delicate operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

“Yes, Dad, what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.”

And such is the wisdom of those with gray in their hair.

My gray bearded buddy Bill frequently cites Proverbs where the Old Testament observes “The glory of young men is their strength: the beauty of old men is their gray head.”

And here are some other thoughts of the matter of getting older.

•Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

•The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

•Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

•When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra & Geometry.

•You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

•I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

•One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

•Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

•Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don’t recognize you.

•If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.

•First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when you forget to pull it down.

•A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘No Refills’.”

A Senior’s Prayer: Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.