I’m Doing It Wrong

Curt-lineby Curt Kovener

I sometimes do not know if I am being pranked or edified by information on the internet. Unlike some people, I do not believe everything on the internet, TV or radio. Heck, I am even suspect of the stuff I read in this newspaper.
Apparently I am squeezing my lemons and limes all wrong. Rather than using my hand I am supposed to warm them in the microwave then use tongs for better leverage.
Other stuff I do that is wrong:
•Scooping ice cream. Instead use a knife and cut ice cream into slices.
•Not maximizing the paper ketchup cup. If you fan out those fluted paper ketchup cups at the fast food place they hold more and you can more easily access them for french fry dipping.
•The aluminum tab on a can of pop can be used to hold your drinking straw. I don’t use a straw out in the woods. The squirrels and chipmunks would think I am being hoity-toity.
•You are supposed to store peanut butter jars upside down to better distribute the oils.
•Hold it! There are little tabs on the end of foil, wax paper and plastic wrap boxes that can be shoved in to hold the roll in the box.
•A staple remover can be used to open up key rings so you don’t break a fingernail.
•Your supposed to use a pea size dab of toothpaste and you are not supposed to rinse after you brush. (If it is all the same to you, I will keep doing it wrong.)
•If you rest a wooden spoon over the top of your pots while you’re cooking it will prevent spillover when things boil. The wood is suppose to pop the boiling bubbles. It does some but not all.
•Peeling a banana. Learn from the monkeys: pinch the bottom on the banana and peel it open. You won’t have to pick off the banana strings. I tried this. I ended up eating mushed up banana.
All information sources are only as good as the pranksters sharing the information. Use this advice at your own peril.