For those like me who thought the hardest part of Charles Bardâ€™s high school physics class was the constant conversion from metric to English units, here are some useful Hoosier Humor System Conversions.

- Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
- 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
- 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
- Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
- 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
- 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
- Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
- 1,000 aches: 1 megahurtz
- Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
- 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
- 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
- 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
- 365.25 days: 1 unicycle
- 2,000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
- 10 cards: 1 decacards
- 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
- 1,000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
- 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
- 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
- 10 rations: 1 decoration
- 100 rations: 1 C-ration
- 2 monograms: 1 diagram
- 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
- 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
- 100 Senators: Not 1 decision
- Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line