That Fine Line Between Wise & Wise Acre

by Curt Kovener

(While the editor is working off too much holiday turkey, we reached into the Curt Comments archive for a repeat performance of this week’s column.)
Aphorism is a short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth. But sometimes it oversteps and one is viewed as a smart aleck.
•The nicest thing about the future is… it always starts tomorrow.
•Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
•If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
•Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
•A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
•How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
•Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
•Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
•Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
•No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
•There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
•There are worse things than getting a call at 4 a.m. that’s a wrong number. It could be the right number.
•No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
•I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
•Be careful about reading the fine print… there’s no way you’re going to like it.
•The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
•Do you realize that, in about 30 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos and a perky chest?
•After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
•Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind… and the ones that mind don’t matter.
•Life isn’t tied with a bow but it’s still a gift.
•Politicians and diapers should be changed often and for the same reason.
•The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Legal Notices


Notice is hereby given to the taxpayers of Jackson County, Indiana, that the proper legal officer of Jackson County at their regular meeting place at Jackson County Courthouse Annex, at 6:00 p.m. on the 13th day of December, 2017, will consider the following appropriations in excess of the budget for the current year.

Interpreter Grant Fund
Personal Services                                                             $3,500
Total Interpreter Grant Fund                                                 $3,500
Supplemental Public Defender Service Fund
Other Services and Charges                                              $3,500
Total Supplemental Public Defender Service Fund               $3,500
Emergency Management Special Appropriation Fund
Other Services and Charges                                            $1,954
Total Emergency Management Special Appropriation Fund $1,954
Jackson County Highway Dept. Fund
Personal Services                                                              $3,000
Total Jackson County Highway Dept. Fund                          $3,000

Taxpayers appearing at the meeting shall have a right to be heard. The additional appropriations as finally made will be referred to the Department of local Government Finance (DLGF). The DLGF will make a written determination as to the sufficiency of funds to support the appropriations made within fifteen (15) days of receipt of a Certified Copy of the action taken.
Dated: November 29, 2017
Kathy S. Hohenstreiter
Fiscal Officer
11/29 hspaxlp


CAUSE NO. 36C011711-EU-0097
Cause No. 36C01-1711-EU-0097
In the Circuit Court of Jackson County, Indiana.
Pursuant to I.C. 29-1-7-7, notice is hereby given that G. Chad Reedy was on the 3rd day of November, 2017, appointed Personal Representative of the Estate of Gary Reedy, deceased, who died testate on November 1, 2017, a resident of Jackson County, Indiana, and was authorized to administer this estate without court supervision.
All persons having claims against this estate, whether or not now due, must file the claim in the office of the clerk of this court within three (3) months from the date of first publication of this notice, or within nine (9) months after the decedent’s death, whichever is earlier, or the claims will be forever barred.
Dated at Brownstown, Indiana, this 3rd day of November 2017.
/s/ Amanda Lowery
Clerk of the Circuit Court of
Jackson County, Indiana
Jeffrey J. Lorenzo
218 West Second Street
Seymour, IN 47274
(812) 524-9000
11/29, 12/6 hspaxlp


CAUSE NO. 36D01-1711-CC-000395
To: Any and all others claiming title to real estate, including their successors or assigns, whose identities and whereabouts are unknown.
Notice is hereby given that on November 9, 2017, there was filed in the office of the Clerk of Jackson County, Indiana, a Complaint to Quiet Title to Real Estate and an Affidavit for Service of Summons by Publication on the Defendants, whoever they may be, showing that the identities and whereabouts of any and all others claiming title to the real estate, including their Successors or Assigns, are unknown.
Unless you respond to this notice by entering your appearance in the above-captioned cause within thirty (30) days of the last publication of this notice, the cause will be heard and decided in your absence.
/s/ Amanda Lowery, Clerk
Jackson Circuit/Superior Court
Matthew J. Lorenzo
Attorney for Plaintiffs
218 West Second Street
Seymour, IN 47274
(812) 524-9000
11/ 22, 11/29, 12/6



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7 Departments Battle Stubborn Blaze Northwest Of Uniontown

Firefighters from seven fire departments battled a fire in northern Vernon Township for multiple days last week.
No one was injured in the fire that began as a large structure fire last Tuesday night (Nov. 14) on the 19-acre site owned by Charlotte W. Helt, who once operated the recycling center with her late husband, Roger W. Helt at 10770 E. County Road 125S.
The fire was first reported at the former Helt Enterprises-Recycling site north of Uniontown just before 11 p.m. Tuesday. Firefighters from several departments worked to extinguished the blaze, but it rekindled about two hours later and was still burning Thursday.
Crothersville-Vernon Township Fire Chief Ben Spencer said the cause of the fire remains under investigation. He said the Indiana State Fire Marshal’s office was called in to assist with the cause of the fire.
The fire was difficult to extinguish because of the materials involved, which included plastic, tires, pallets and other materials, he said.
The water firefighters sprayed on the burning plastic cooled it, which was essentially creating a shield for the flames burning underneath. That’s the type of fire that fire officials consider “deep-seated fires,” Spencer said.
Spencer said the fumes from the plastic burning was the primary concern of fire officials, and representatives from the Indiana Department of Environmental Management and Jackson County Health Department who were on scene.
The rural site is at the edge of a wooded area, but firefighters were able to stop the fire from spreading to that area. Rainy conditions in the morning and afternoon also helped keep the fire contained.
This is not the first fire on the property. A fire was reported in April 2000 when the site still operated. That fire involved similar materials.
The Seymour Fire Department and Grassy Fork, Jackson-Washington, Brownstown, Redding and Hamilton Township fire departments assisted with the fire.

First You Get A Turkey…

Crothersville First Graders Offer Recipes for Their Favorite thanksgiving Dish

In an annual Thanksgiving tradition, the Times presents Crothersville first grader recipes for the holiday meal. We thank teachers Ashley Spicer and Karra Lucas for their help with this writing assignment.

Chicken Jadie Blair
Put it in the oven for 5 minutes. I will play with toys and wait. Then do my homework. Take is out of the oven and have Thanksgiving and eat.

Turkey Mae Breedlove
Mom puts green stuff on the turkey. Cook it for 2 minutes. Put it in a pot. Then take it out and share it with the family.

Birthday Cake (because it’s when my birthday is) William Burns
Mom and mamaw work together to make a birthday cake. I always want vanilla, so they put vanilla it.

Turkey Donavan Chastian
I think you need salt and pepper and that green stuff. Put all that on the turkey. Put it in a crock pot or oven for 125 minutes.

Turkey Kayleb Clayton
Add a little touch of salt and one piece of ham. That’s it!

Turkey Abigail Davis
Buy a turkey and stuff it with vegetables. Then put it in the oven for 10 hours. Then eat it!

Chicken wings Langston Davis
Kill a chicken. Cook the chicken for probably like 8 seconds. Get it out of the microwave and then eat it. It’s so yummy!

Mashed potatoes Brooklynn Wilson
You need potatoes and a pan to fry them in. Then mash them down. Then eat them.

Mashed Potatoes Carlie Turner
Mix the potatoes and mash and squish them. Take the peeling off and squish them together again. Take a mixer and mix it all together. Put pepper in it.

Pineapple Turkey Jaerin Vernon
Mamaw puts pineapple on a turkey. Put it in the oven for 16 minutes. Check it. When it’s done it looks yummy!

Corn Charlie Hollan
Put corn in a pan. Put it on the stove for 2 minutes. Then it is done, done, done!

Turkey Hannah Hyland
Get it out of the bag. Cook it for 20 seconds. Take it out of the oven. Eat it and use forks.

Chicken Kalli McIntosh
Put it in the oven or microwave for 10 minutes. Get it out and then you can eat it.

Turkey Hendrix McKinney
You bake it in the oven for 10 minutes. Then pull it out of the oven. Eat it!

Deer Mason Muncy
You cut all the yucky stuff off it. Put it in a pot with hot water. Cut it up in squares a fry it.

Pumpkin Pice Owen Prince
Take a pumpkin and cut it. Then make it look brown. Make it mushy. Make a crust and then seal it with some more crust. Then put it in the oven for 50 minutes. After all that time take it out and enjoy it.

Ham Chase Roberts
Buy the meat. Cook it in the stove for 20 minutes. Get in out of the stove. Eat it!

Mashed Potatoes Jacob Synder
Buy mashed potatoes and cook them.

Pumpkin Pie Isaac Spencer
Get some pumpkins. Then get all the pumpkin seeds out of the pumpkin. Then make pie dough. Put it in a pie plate. Put the pumpkin stuff in the middle and on the sides. Then put the pie dough on top and then cook it for probably for 5 or 10 minutes. That’s it!

Turkey Payton Sporleder
Put it in the oven for 12 minutes. Take it out of the stove. Then cute it up and then eat the turkey.

Mashed Potatoes Nevaeh Stagnolia
Mom uses a masher to mash all the potatoes. Then she uses a mixer. Then mommy puts bacon in and put the cheese on last.

Mashed Potatoes Emma Sawyer
Peel them. You put them in a bowl. Stir them up and mash them. Then put them on a plate.

Turkey Tristan Akemon
Catch it with a net. We cook it. We put it on the stove.

Turkey Corbin Branam
You um, need a gun and you shoot and cut it. You, um put it in a pot and set the timer.

Turkey Cooper Brown
Run after it and have a giant net in your hand to catch it.

Turkey Jacob Burton
You go hunt for it with a bow. Then you cook it. Then you eat it.

Turkey Olivia Clarke
You sneak up behind it and get close to it and wrap your arms around it. Then you take it home and turn on the stove.

Turkey Jaela Cox
You have to see it and like catch it. You just need something to cook it in and get it cooked.

Turkey Ella Doran
You shoot it and you put a turkey in the pot and boil it.

Turkey Kaleb Fessel
You find a turkey and cook it. First you need to buy it and then cook it. Then you eat it. That’s all I have. That’s how my parents have done it.

Turkey Isaiah Jimenez
Buy stuff and then cut the head off. Then cook it.

Turkey Emma Kelly
You gotta chase the turkey. Then you got to cook it. Then you take it out of the oven and eat it.

Turkey Blaine Lewis
You could get a big net and catch it. Take it home and chop it. Then cook it.

Turkey Brooklynn Lloyd
I do not even know how to do it. Well, I have turkeys at home. You just cook them.

Turkey Chris McCullah
Drive a car around for awhile in the woods and when you see a turkey get out of the car . You use a shotgun or bow and arrow to get the turkey. You set something down that they like and then you catch them. You cut off all the parts you don’t like and cook it. Then you set it on the table and eat it up.

Turkey Easton Minton
You catch a turkey, skin it, and put it in the micro, no stove. I don’t know how long. Get it out, cut it up, and then eat it.

Turkey Peighton Peden
You have to find it in the woods. If you were a turkey you’d have to be where it was. You have to catch it with a net and then bring it home. You have to get a pot ready to cook it.

Turkey Zoey Riley
I’m not sure how.

Turkey Markell Spencer
Well you could just buy it; maybe at Wal-Mart. Cook it in the oven. I think your going to leave it in for about 10 minutes.

Turkey Cain Stidham
First you gotta catch it. Well, you gotta see one first to catch. Then you gotta cook it. You hang it over a fire. Well, you need to cut off its feet.

Turkey Carson White
Run after them and then put it in a crate. Bring it home and heat it in the oven.

Turkey Taylor Crockett
Ha ha, I don’t know.

Turkey Leela Smith
Uh, say “back, back, gobble, gobble” and then it catches the noise the person is saying. Then it comes too you and then you have to catch it. You chop the head off and like the hands you chop those off.  You put stuffing in it and put it in the oven to cook for 7 minutes. Then you eat it.

Turkey Ellie Spencer
I think you just run and catch it. You just put it in the oven.

Derby Dinner Playhouse Staging ‘A Christmas Carol The Musical’

Derby Dinner Playhouse in Clarksville will present the lavish and thrilling Broadway version of ‘A Christmas Carol The Musical’ now through Dec. 31
In this adaptation of Charles Dickens’ most well-known story, Ebenezer Scrooge is a prosperous curmudgeon who believes that personal wealth is far more valuable than the happiness and comfort of others. With an infuriated “Bah! Humbug!”, Scrooge is forced to face his selfish ways when three ghosts visit on Christmas Eve and lead him through his Past, Present and Future. Thanks to their guidance, Scrooge recognizes his faults and greets Christmas morning with cheer before spending the day reconnecting and sharing love with those who mean the most to him.
The music and lyrics for ‘A Christmas Carol The Musical’ were written by Broadway heavy hitters Alan Menken (Disney’s Beauty & the Beast, Disney’s Little Mermaid, and Little Shop of Horrors) and Lynn Ahrens (Ragtime, Seussical, Once on This Island). This duo breathes fantastic new life into a classic holiday tale.
‘A Christmas Carol The Musical’ is under the direction of Lee Buckholz with choreography by Heather Paige Folsom and Musical Director of Scott Bradley. The cast will include Jim Hesselman, John Payonk, J.R. Stuart, Sara King, Cami Glauser, Jillian Prefach, and more Derby Dinner regulars.
For ticket information, contact the Derby Dinner box office at 812-288-8281. Gift cards for derby sinner are available online at